The Lost Misadventure of Atlantis and Haiti
by DNFanatic0216
Summary: What happens when you mix a lost Atlantean, a violent Haitian, France, Gilbirds, and tomatoes with Ninja Assassin on the side? Pure crack and a German in the middle!


**Disclaimer: Tom and Scarlet do not own Hetalia Axis Powers. Because if they did, Philippines would be canon.**

* * *

><p>One day, Haiti and Atlantis were out fishing in Spain's fishpond. And as luck would not have it, they caught nothing.<p>

"Haiti, why is this called a fishpond again?" Atlantis asked.

"Uhh… because it's a pond that has fish?" Haiti said.

Atlantis blinked. "SPAAAAAIIIIIIIIN!"

"What is it, _mi amigo_?" Spain asked, popping out of nowhere.

"Your fishpond is fishless!" Atlantis said.

"That's because I didn't buy fish to put in there…"

"…Put what in where?"

"The fish in the pond!"

Then Atlantis dived into the pond. Unfortunately for her, she hit her head at the bottom of said pond, for it was only 2 feet deep.

"Please. Never **EVER** do that again." Haiti said, pulling Atlantis out of the water.

"Never do what again?" Atlantis asked.

Haiti groaned. "Never mind. Wanna annoy Germany?"

"Sure! Bye Spain!"

"_Hasta lavista_!"

* * *

><p>"GERMANY! OPEN THE DOOR!" Atlantis and Haiti shouted, banging the door violently.<p>

"What do you-AHH!"

Now we see Germany suffering. Why? Because he is currently tied to a chair with duck tape, being brainwashed with Ninja Assassin and force-fed with tomatoes for no particular reason.

"What did I do to you?" Germany complained, spitting out tomatoes.

"Shut up and treasure the moment!"

"What the-" Another spoonful of tomatoes were shoved in his mouth.

"Throw French bread at 'im!" Haiti suggested.

2 seconds later, France was seen flying across the room, crash landing on our German friend.

"Bull's eye!" Atlantis exclaimed in victory.

"Well, not really what I was expecting, but that was cool too!" Haiti said.

"This is even cooler!" Atlantis said, holding two full buckets of yellow chicks.

"Wahahahaha! Experience the terror of the awesome Gilbirds!" Then Atlantis started throwing the chicks in random directions. All provided by Prussia, of course.

"_Oiseaux par mort jaune!_" Haiti shouted like a madman. Or woman for that matter.

"Agh! My eyes!" Germany wailed as 4 Gilbirds pecked his eyes.

"4-0 for Atlantis!" Atlantis said.

"Yay! I caught one!" Haiti said. "I shall call you Rin!"

Suddenly, a little Gilbird popped out of France's pocket. The little guy jumped out and landed in his hands. "It seems I've caught one. I'll name mine Pierre." Pierre looked around the room and instantly spotted Rin. He 'innocently' walked over to her, then started to do unspeakable things to her with his beak.

"What are they doing?" Atlantis asked curiously.

"France, why the hell is your bird molesting mine?"

"Well, when a man has 'urges', they are hard to control..." said France, who's thoughts wandered to bondaged images of England.

"Well make him stop!"

He shook his head.

"Atlantis, get the emergency porn!" Haiti ordered, throwing a blindfold towards the Lost City.

Atlantis, now blindfolded, immediately chucked two DVDs with scantily clad women on the cover to Haiti, who shoved said DVDs to Pierre's face. The male bird then took the disks in his beak and ran towards the DVD player.

"Wait for me!" France said, running over to where his new pet was.

Atlantis removed the blindfold, then tugged Haiti's shirt. "What are they doing?"

"France and his psycho bird or the people on the screen?"

"Both," Atlantis cocked her head to the side. "And why are they naked?"

"France and his bird are watching X-Rated movies. The people on the screen... um, just put the blindfold back on, OK?"

Atlantis blinked. "Why?"

"Because I don't want to poison your innocent little mind."

"Okay!" Atlantis put the blindfold back on, oblivious to what Haiti said a few seconds back.

Haiti checked her watch. "Dammit. It's 7:15. We promised Japan we'd come early for dinner! C'mon!" said Haiti, dragging the still blindfolded Atlantis.

"Waaaah! I'm being kidnapped!" Atlantis started crying.

"You aren't. I'm just bringing you to Japan's house. You can take off the blindfold once we're outside."

"Oh! Okay then!" Atlantis said calming down.

And soon they were on their way.

* * *

><p><strong>-6 hours later-<strong>

Germany was still strapped to the chair watching porn alone.

"Damn you, France!"

The End...?

* * *

><p>Tom: Thank you for reading this random and mostly pointless Fan Fiction.<p>

Scarlet: Go, Serperior! Use Leaf Tornado on that Minccino!

Tom: Um, Scar, I'm pretty sure that's the reader's pet bunny. Maybe I shouldn't have let you play with your DS for 48 hours straight...

Scarlet: But I see a chinchilla! And it's cute! Can I capture it?

Tom: NO. That would be stealing. Unless the reader is willing to give it to you. So, Dear Reader, if you like this fic, give Scar the bunny.

Scarlet: Don't you mean chinchilla?

Tom: Oh,right. Give her the chinchilla then. I don't really think it matters,both are equally kawaii OwO

**Scarlet: REVIEW! Please? I'll give you a cookie! Oh, and Tom-chan is a girl!**


End file.
